Montessori Radmoor

The other day in the classroom, I noticed that many students kept coming up to me during a lesson. They know that when I am in a lesson with students, they are meant to seek help from a friend, another teacher, try to work their problem out on their own, or move on to a different work and wait for the lesson to be over. This is a conversation we have often in the classroom and, for the most part, the students are great with it. The other day, however, I felt it kept happening with student after student. I wondered why! Why weren’t they following the procedure that had been set in place? I came to realize that I would say to a student who was seeking help during a lesson, “I am in a lesson.” Or “I cannot help you right now.”

That was my mistake right there. I was sending mixed messages. I had set a boundary that they could not interrupt a lesson, however, when someone came to me, I tried to answer them by sending them away. I moved my boundary because I stopped the lesson to answer them, although it wasn’t answering their question, I was answering to them.

Setting boundaries for the second plane child is an essential part of helping develop a self-regulated child.

Children in the second plane of development are constantly looking for what is right and what is wrong. They are social justice warriors. They are also constantly wondering what they can do and what they shouldn’t do. They want to do right and they want to please you. They cannot do this if they are not aware of what you accept as positive and good and what isn’t positive. They also cannot do this if the boundary moves.

How can we, as adults, help you ask? Set boundaries for your child. Set boundaries and keep them. Establish what is acceptable and should be done and what isn’t acceptable and shouldn’t be done. The essential piece to this advice is the “keep them” part of setting boundaries. When you set boundaries for your child, it tells them what should be done and how to treat a situation. If you move your boundaries though, the message of your boundary is no longer clear.

When children know what is expected of them, and know it is consistent, they will stay within the boundaries. They will be able to function all by themselves. It takes the adult, though, to place the boundaries first.

This is a topic I visit in the classroom often. I always reflect on it and have to remind myself to remain consistent and keep my boundaries. It is also something that will help children at home.

Sincerely,

Sara

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